Thinking Green? Buy American!
Green has gone mainstream. From low-wattage light bulbs, to hybrid cars, to cloth bags at the grocery store. There is even a new, rapidly growing, branch of psychology that deals with the emotional issues that result from the guilt of “not doing enough to save the planet.”
While none of us can singlehandedly save the planet, and there is serious debate whether humans can materially affect global warming, there are things we can do to create a cleaner, more animal-friendly environment. One of the most effective ways to help “green” the planet is to BUY AMERICAN.
Everywhere I look, I see products made in China. They are cheap to buy, and we’re all looking for a bargain. But there is an enormous environmental cost behind those cheap prices. China is world famous for its putrid environment. Many of its inhabitants live in squalor that is beyond our imagination. Entire villages must cook with (and drink) water that literally eats through cooking utensils in weeks. China’s rivers and air are like Pittsburgh of the nineteenth century, but far worse. The average visibility in Beijing is less than 200 feet, prompting the Chinese government to shut down its nearby factories for a month or more to let the air clear enough for us to actually see the Olympics on our televisions.
Then, of course, there is the “human” factor. Child labor, immigrant peasants (their immigrants are from their own rural regions, and they don’t get health care) working for pennies an hour, sweat shops that would land U.S. managers in jail for life.
Yes, the products are cheap, but the cost is great. And the carbon footprint isn’t small, because those ships that carry the goods to this country pollute the hell out of the air and water.
This is the kind of life we are supporting when we choose to save a few bucks on anything made in China (as well as other third world countries). So, the next time you want to think “Green,” think “American.” We have some of the most restrictive (and costly) environmental regulations in the world. You won’t die if you swim in our rivers. And moving the goods to our stores burns less fuel than carting it half way around the world to this country.
So, if you really care about saving the planet, if you really believe that we need to do more to protect our environment, don’t support a nation that doesn’t give a damn about it. Buy your good from the USA, then feel good about it.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Memorial Day Memories
Remember on Memorial Day
Every year, as Memorial Day approaches, I begin to think of just what this day means. It is a time for family get-togethers. A three-day weekend that marks the first unofficial day of summer, and it gives us some time for hanging out with friends and enjoying your kids or parents.
As we enjoy our Memorial Day, let us not forget the millions of people who sacrificed to give us this day as free citizens. As we slap some food on the grill, munch on some chips and watch a ball game, there is a man or woman sweating in a desert somewhere, or sailing in the middle of nowhere, just so we can have a great weekend.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have fought, and still fight, for our freedom. Our debt to you can never be fully repaid.
Every year, as Memorial Day approaches, I begin to think of just what this day means. It is a time for family get-togethers. A three-day weekend that marks the first unofficial day of summer, and it gives us some time for hanging out with friends and enjoying your kids or parents.
As we enjoy our Memorial Day, let us not forget the millions of people who sacrificed to give us this day as free citizens. As we slap some food on the grill, munch on some chips and watch a ball game, there is a man or woman sweating in a desert somewhere, or sailing in the middle of nowhere, just so we can have a great weekend.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have fought, and still fight, for our freedom. Our debt to you can never be fully repaid.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Genesis, The Big Bang and Imaginary Time
I have been thinking a lot lately about the origin of our universe. According to some cosmological theories, there may be as many universes as there are stars in our universe. But, for this discussion, I’m going to deal with the one we see. And I am going to simplify the discussion for purposes of this blog.
There is an extraordinary group of brilliant men studying our universe, in ways that most of us could never understand. There are some women in this field, but not enough. One of the common theories we laymen hear about is the Big Bang. This concept was first popularized by Alexander Friedmann, a Russian physicist who developed his models in the early 1920s. According to the Big Bang theory of the universe, it all began with an extremely dense and hot state of matter. The gravitational pull of this matter grew so great that it all compressed into a ball of infinite density. The density and energy within this ball cause it to explode, sending the matter out into empty space at enormous speed. The universe is still expanding, and may do so forever (unless there is far more matter than we currently can see).
The bible has explained creation in Genesis. And it sounds an awful lot like the Big Bang. In fact, the more (that) scientists have tried to explain the universe in terms of mathematical laws, the more it seems to give credence to the biblical explanation.
Physicists and mathematicians construct enormously complex formulas to prove that there are “laws” to the behavior of matter, and of our universe. They tend to examine what they see, how it behaves, and make the assumption that these universal laws will hold up under any circumstances. In this manner, physicists have been able to explain most everything we see. These laws are then used to try to explain the beginning, or the moment of creation. These scientists tend not to think of things in terms of a “God,” but more in terms of universal constants. Religious scholars would argue that maybe God just made the rules.
The Big Bang erupted from what is known as a “singularity.” This is that point of infinite density, where the quantities that are used to measure the gravitational field becomes infinite. This affects the curvature of something called spacetime, and is the point where all of the physical “laws” of nature break down. Uh, oh.
We experience Time as something that moves forward, not backward. In our world, time as we know it probably began at the Big Bang. We can think of time as a horizontal line moving from one side, the beginning, to the other side, the future. Some point in the middle is the present time.
Physicists cannot explain how the universal laws can function in a singularity without creating something known as Imaginary Time. This is like putting a perpendicular axis to the horizontal one time. This allows time to have a new dimension, something we don’t see, but something that allows us to create universal formulas that work with all types of matter.
String Theory is one of the latest crazes to (re) emerge on the theoretical scene. But for string theory to work, we need 10, 11 or 26 dimensions, not the four we know (with time being one).
These theories were the “genesis” for the concept of time and travel that I used in The Alchemist Conspiracy. If you read deeply, time becomes intertwined with religion, allowing for other ways to explain what we know and what we see.
Most of us have our own vision of God. If we look at organized religion alone, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of different Gods. If one of them is truly “right,” does that mean that the others don’t exist? Is there a God for just a small portion of our world’s population, to the exclusion of all others? Somehow, I think God is above all that. But where we find God, and where God chooses to enter our lives, can be in many different places and many different ways.
My writing often deals with The Creator, God, or Christ-like figures. I see God with infinite powers, just like the infinite density of a singularity, who can influence our lives in ways we will never see or understand. Just like physicists, religious leaders aim to put God into something understandable, something tangible. But I think that we see only small bits of The Creator’s greatness and possibilities. I also believe that God will help us harness that greatness to better our lives.
There is an extraordinary group of brilliant men studying our universe, in ways that most of us could never understand. There are some women in this field, but not enough. One of the common theories we laymen hear about is the Big Bang. This concept was first popularized by Alexander Friedmann, a Russian physicist who developed his models in the early 1920s. According to the Big Bang theory of the universe, it all began with an extremely dense and hot state of matter. The gravitational pull of this matter grew so great that it all compressed into a ball of infinite density. The density and energy within this ball cause it to explode, sending the matter out into empty space at enormous speed. The universe is still expanding, and may do so forever (unless there is far more matter than we currently can see).
The bible has explained creation in Genesis. And it sounds an awful lot like the Big Bang. In fact, the more (that) scientists have tried to explain the universe in terms of mathematical laws, the more it seems to give credence to the biblical explanation.
Physicists and mathematicians construct enormously complex formulas to prove that there are “laws” to the behavior of matter, and of our universe. They tend to examine what they see, how it behaves, and make the assumption that these universal laws will hold up under any circumstances. In this manner, physicists have been able to explain most everything we see. These laws are then used to try to explain the beginning, or the moment of creation. These scientists tend not to think of things in terms of a “God,” but more in terms of universal constants. Religious scholars would argue that maybe God just made the rules.
The Big Bang erupted from what is known as a “singularity.” This is that point of infinite density, where the quantities that are used to measure the gravitational field becomes infinite. This affects the curvature of something called spacetime, and is the point where all of the physical “laws” of nature break down. Uh, oh.
We experience Time as something that moves forward, not backward. In our world, time as we know it probably began at the Big Bang. We can think of time as a horizontal line moving from one side, the beginning, to the other side, the future. Some point in the middle is the present time.
Physicists cannot explain how the universal laws can function in a singularity without creating something known as Imaginary Time. This is like putting a perpendicular axis to the horizontal one time. This allows time to have a new dimension, something we don’t see, but something that allows us to create universal formulas that work with all types of matter.
String Theory is one of the latest crazes to (re) emerge on the theoretical scene. But for string theory to work, we need 10, 11 or 26 dimensions, not the four we know (with time being one).
These theories were the “genesis” for the concept of time and travel that I used in The Alchemist Conspiracy. If you read deeply, time becomes intertwined with religion, allowing for other ways to explain what we know and what we see.
Most of us have our own vision of God. If we look at organized religion alone, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of different Gods. If one of them is truly “right,” does that mean that the others don’t exist? Is there a God for just a small portion of our world’s population, to the exclusion of all others? Somehow, I think God is above all that. But where we find God, and where God chooses to enter our lives, can be in many different places and many different ways.
My writing often deals with The Creator, God, or Christ-like figures. I see God with infinite powers, just like the infinite density of a singularity, who can influence our lives in ways we will never see or understand. Just like physicists, religious leaders aim to put God into something understandable, something tangible. But I think that we see only small bits of The Creator’s greatness and possibilities. I also believe that God will help us harness that greatness to better our lives.
Honor Is Sacred
Honor is Sacred
Whenever I tune in to the political debate about whether or not our country should pull our troops out of Iraq, I start to feel sick to my stomach.
I see a nation quibbling about whether or not we should have entered this battlefield. I watch accusations fly, and politicians jump over themselves to claim that they know exactly what to do. And everyone disagrees.
It is no secret that Iraq turned out to be more than we expected. More soldiers dead and wounded. More money spent. And much more of both to come.
I hear many politicians call for a withdrawal of troops. A few even call for more feet on the ground. What everyone seems to ignore is the sacred, fundamental issue of HONOR that our nation faces in this endeavor.
The cold hard fact is this: we are there. We didn’t choose to start the “War on Terror,” it found us in New York City, and we responded. And when we chose to enter this field of battle we made promises—promises to our citizens and to the other nations of the world. And we made commitments to the brave men and women who choose to put our freedom on the top of their “to-do” list.
These promises are sacred. This is a matter of honor. We must fulfill the commitments we make. We must keep our honor, no matter how great the cost. If we break our promises, we lose our credibility as a nation, forever. This is just not an option.
Imagine a husband or wife who repeatedly cheats on their spouse. How much trust can there be? Imagine buying a car with a five-year warranty, only to find that, when the car implodes a week later, that you should have read the fine print. Imagine handing over money to buy a new house, only to find that the house actually belongs to someone else. You have lost your money and have no place to live.
Imagine being the spouse of a dead soldier, a soldier who willing gave his or her life for a just cause, only to be told that your country really didn’t mean what it said. Imagine being an Iraqi citizen who rose to support our troops, only to be left defenseless when we decide to cut and run.
Imagine being a terrorist country who hears our hollow threats, knowing that all they need do is to wait until we grow tired of the game, put our tail between our legs and go home. Imagine being Iran, as it adds new centrifuge lines that can process nuclear fuel for weapons. We tell them to stop. The UN tells them to stop. But they know that we will never hold true to our promises. All they need do is wait us out. What can stop them then?
There are national leaders that have made it their stated goal to destroy America, to bring a fiery hell to our streets. If they get their way, they will bring a nuclear bomb in your neighborhood. This is a cold, hard fact. Terrorists are trying every day to secure nuclear weaponry. They will succeed.
Zealots are also spending billions of dollars on schools that teach intense hatred for America. Many of the students come from the wealthiest families. Some of them will come to America and attend our finest institutions. Many will stay here to live. They will live next door, and they will be your friends.
Someday, these people will face a choice between what they learned as children and what they experience in America. Will they see a nation with honor, one that fulfills the commitments it makes? Or, will they see a nation that doesn’t follow any moral code, one that repeatedly breaks its promises, one that turns its back on its people and its allies, one that can’t be trusted? Will they see a nation that fits the rhetoric of the zealots, a hedonistic people with little moral fiber and no sense of loyalty and commitment?
We must stand by our promises to the rest of the world and to our own citizens, no matter what the cost. Because Honor is Sacred. Going forward, however, I hope that our nation’s leaders take the time to fully understand history and humankind more thoroughly.
Whenever I tune in to the political debate about whether or not our country should pull our troops out of Iraq, I start to feel sick to my stomach.
I see a nation quibbling about whether or not we should have entered this battlefield. I watch accusations fly, and politicians jump over themselves to claim that they know exactly what to do. And everyone disagrees.
It is no secret that Iraq turned out to be more than we expected. More soldiers dead and wounded. More money spent. And much more of both to come.
I hear many politicians call for a withdrawal of troops. A few even call for more feet on the ground. What everyone seems to ignore is the sacred, fundamental issue of HONOR that our nation faces in this endeavor.
The cold hard fact is this: we are there. We didn’t choose to start the “War on Terror,” it found us in New York City, and we responded. And when we chose to enter this field of battle we made promises—promises to our citizens and to the other nations of the world. And we made commitments to the brave men and women who choose to put our freedom on the top of their “to-do” list.
These promises are sacred. This is a matter of honor. We must fulfill the commitments we make. We must keep our honor, no matter how great the cost. If we break our promises, we lose our credibility as a nation, forever. This is just not an option.
Imagine a husband or wife who repeatedly cheats on their spouse. How much trust can there be? Imagine buying a car with a five-year warranty, only to find that, when the car implodes a week later, that you should have read the fine print. Imagine handing over money to buy a new house, only to find that the house actually belongs to someone else. You have lost your money and have no place to live.
Imagine being the spouse of a dead soldier, a soldier who willing gave his or her life for a just cause, only to be told that your country really didn’t mean what it said. Imagine being an Iraqi citizen who rose to support our troops, only to be left defenseless when we decide to cut and run.
Imagine being a terrorist country who hears our hollow threats, knowing that all they need do is to wait until we grow tired of the game, put our tail between our legs and go home. Imagine being Iran, as it adds new centrifuge lines that can process nuclear fuel for weapons. We tell them to stop. The UN tells them to stop. But they know that we will never hold true to our promises. All they need do is wait us out. What can stop them then?
There are national leaders that have made it their stated goal to destroy America, to bring a fiery hell to our streets. If they get their way, they will bring a nuclear bomb in your neighborhood. This is a cold, hard fact. Terrorists are trying every day to secure nuclear weaponry. They will succeed.
Zealots are also spending billions of dollars on schools that teach intense hatred for America. Many of the students come from the wealthiest families. Some of them will come to America and attend our finest institutions. Many will stay here to live. They will live next door, and they will be your friends.
Someday, these people will face a choice between what they learned as children and what they experience in America. Will they see a nation with honor, one that fulfills the commitments it makes? Or, will they see a nation that doesn’t follow any moral code, one that repeatedly breaks its promises, one that turns its back on its people and its allies, one that can’t be trusted? Will they see a nation that fits the rhetoric of the zealots, a hedonistic people with little moral fiber and no sense of loyalty and commitment?
We must stand by our promises to the rest of the world and to our own citizens, no matter what the cost. Because Honor is Sacred. Going forward, however, I hope that our nation’s leaders take the time to fully understand history and humankind more thoroughly.
Civilized Man?
The barrier between civilized man, living in peaceful coexistence with others, and animalistic man, exhibiting the most base and brutal of instincts, is far thinner than we think.
We see ourselves as cultured and caring. We act kindly toward those who are less fortunate or different. Charities abound. Political Correctness and sensitivity are woven into our nation’s fabric. We don’t hurt feelings. We build self-esteem. We help the poor. We champion minorities of nationality, disabilities, color and non-traditional personal preferences. These are signs of an advanced civilization seeking to avoid conflict.
But when we watch the news or read the papers we see highlights of a far different world. We see a world that frays at its edges and rips at the seams. We see deceit and infidelity, fraud and extortion, atrocities and murder. Usually, these tragedies happen to someone else. Murders occur in the inner cities, in places where few of us dwell and fewer would dare roam at night. Young men and women we rarely know go off to win and preserve our freedom—and lose their limbs and sacrifice their lives.
But more and more of us are feeling the sting of these base “human” instincts. We see smut coming in through our email and pedophiles prowling our children’s chat rooms. We see date rape, credit card fraud and stolen cars. The list goes on. And on.
Is it my imagination, or are things getting worse?
In my writing, characters often have to deal with the consequences of civilization run amok. Recently, I had to face this myself—in spades.
Twenty years ago, after “retiring” from the financial services industry, I answered a help-wanted ad in the newspaper. The job was for a sales and marketing coordinator to represent a large, highly exclusive real estate development in southern California. This was an exceptional job, with a substantial salary and enormous commission/bonus opportunities. Only people who had earned six-figure incomes in the past (That was a lot of money in 1986.) were considered for the position. Two people were chosen, me and Roger Angleton.
I was a neophyte in the real estate business. Roger was a seasoned pro, who had run a highly successful REMAX operation in Houston, Texas. Roger took me under his wing. He and I walked every inch of the 2,500 virgin acres of California wilderness. We priced each lot individually. We found builders to buy the lots and construct the multi-million dollar homes for us to sell. We developed a broker referral network across California and beyond. For six months we worked side by side, all day every day.
Roger was the kind of person that would light up a room when he entered. He had a personality as big as Texas, and was always quick with a joke or a compliment. He was fun.
Roger and I didn’t socialize much outside of work. He was married, and lived thirty miles away from me. But during the days, business joined us at the hip. And work was fun.
The large Savings and Loan institution that owned our real estate project ran into financial difficulties. They went bankrupt, even though we were doing a spectacular business. The firm was one of the first major casualties of the savings and loan crisis of the 1980s.
While we were waiting to see what happened to our project, I decided to start a novel. One weekend I spent both days writing, and came up with one single page of drivel. On Monday I read it to Roger. Roger, in his uniquely enthusiastic way, told me to go for it. It was the “best he’d ever read”.
The project soon closed. We parted ways, and I never heard from Roger again. I went on to enjoy a wonderful and fulfilling family life. I created another investment firm and build the first open-architecture 401(k) program. I lived the American dream. Roger went on to kill his brother’s wife. Then he killed himself (or was murdered) while in prison.
When I was editing The Alchemist Conspiracy I had visions of finding Roger and showing him the book. He was there for my very first words (of a different book, however). It would have been fun to share this one with him. I even included his name and parts of his personality as one of the characters in my book.
I was blown away this spring when I turned on CBS’s 48 Hours and saw Roger being profiled for murder. His brother was (reportedly) the biggest bookie in Texas. It is alleged that Roger’s brother hired him to kill his (brother’s) wife to prevent a nasty divorce. Roger even had secret recordings of the hire. Roger committed the crime and fled to Las Vegas. He was picked up by the police, with a cassette of him (and his brother) planning the murder. Roger went to jail and refused a deal to finger his brother. But he went to work on a tell-all book, and met regularly with a writer. Then, one day, Roger turned up dead in his cell, leaving a suicide note “exonerating” his brother. Roger’s brother later fled the country, and is still at large in the Netherlands.
I cannot get over how deeply this has troubled me. The Roger I knew was a successful family man. He was making great money. He had a happy marriage. He was always fun and the life of the party. Somewhere along the way, he fell into a sordid world of illegal gambling, drugs, murder and suicide.
I would never have envisioned this for Roger. And it illustrates for me the fine, thin barrier between our civil nature and our most basic, brutal potential. I think of the saying “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
How much does it take to cause the schism, to create the fracture that moves man to such behavior? To cause such a wanton disregard for life? I suspect that it is far less than we think. I remember Lord of the Flies, and how schoolboys turned into monsters. I see “reality” shows where the contestants end up at each other’s throats. I see wars where people gladly strap themselves with explosives, walk into a crowd and vanish into pieces.
I think of the millions of American men and women who serve our nation in the four military branches, the National Guard, the FBI, CIA, DEA, the police and the border patrol. Many of these dedicated individuals must interact daily with the underbelly of society, with its open sores and wheezing coughs. So often their service goes unnoticed and underappreciated.
I think of our soldiers in foreign lands. These brave men and women have volunteered to put their lives on the line. They spill their blood to keep us free. What a selfless, glorious commitment that is.
The choice to fight a war is a difficult one to make. Laypeople know just a small fraction of the information one would need to make an informed decision regarding the necessity for conflict outside of our nation. I cannot presume to know what I would do were I in the president’s shoes. I can only help elect men and women who I feel would evaluate that information in the same way as I would.
I do know that many of our soldiers must live their lives in an environment that is filled with stresses beyond our imagination. If our civilized society can make someone like a happy-go-lucky Roger Angleton crack, then our soldiers and law-enforcement officers deserve a huge benefit of any doubt.
Our soldiers must often live with the knowledge that any moment could be their last. Their friends die at the hands of people they thought they were protecting. They are sent into battle with equipment they know could be safer. They must deal with self-doubts, brought out by experiences no man should be forced to endure, emotions and urges long-since tamed by society, but needed in the raw brutal world they must now live.
In my writing I grasp for these essential parts of the human condition, and seek to understand the true building blocks of man and nature. I try to get behind the façade we construct, where life is bucolic and worry-free. I try to stretch my understanding of the true nature of our being. And I try to covey it in words.
I am glad that I live in a world that doesn’t force me to approach my breaking point. And I hope I never do.
We see ourselves as cultured and caring. We act kindly toward those who are less fortunate or different. Charities abound. Political Correctness and sensitivity are woven into our nation’s fabric. We don’t hurt feelings. We build self-esteem. We help the poor. We champion minorities of nationality, disabilities, color and non-traditional personal preferences. These are signs of an advanced civilization seeking to avoid conflict.
But when we watch the news or read the papers we see highlights of a far different world. We see a world that frays at its edges and rips at the seams. We see deceit and infidelity, fraud and extortion, atrocities and murder. Usually, these tragedies happen to someone else. Murders occur in the inner cities, in places where few of us dwell and fewer would dare roam at night. Young men and women we rarely know go off to win and preserve our freedom—and lose their limbs and sacrifice their lives.
But more and more of us are feeling the sting of these base “human” instincts. We see smut coming in through our email and pedophiles prowling our children’s chat rooms. We see date rape, credit card fraud and stolen cars. The list goes on. And on.
Is it my imagination, or are things getting worse?
In my writing, characters often have to deal with the consequences of civilization run amok. Recently, I had to face this myself—in spades.
Twenty years ago, after “retiring” from the financial services industry, I answered a help-wanted ad in the newspaper. The job was for a sales and marketing coordinator to represent a large, highly exclusive real estate development in southern California. This was an exceptional job, with a substantial salary and enormous commission/bonus opportunities. Only people who had earned six-figure incomes in the past (That was a lot of money in 1986.) were considered for the position. Two people were chosen, me and Roger Angleton.
I was a neophyte in the real estate business. Roger was a seasoned pro, who had run a highly successful REMAX operation in Houston, Texas. Roger took me under his wing. He and I walked every inch of the 2,500 virgin acres of California wilderness. We priced each lot individually. We found builders to buy the lots and construct the multi-million dollar homes for us to sell. We developed a broker referral network across California and beyond. For six months we worked side by side, all day every day.
Roger was the kind of person that would light up a room when he entered. He had a personality as big as Texas, and was always quick with a joke or a compliment. He was fun.
Roger and I didn’t socialize much outside of work. He was married, and lived thirty miles away from me. But during the days, business joined us at the hip. And work was fun.
The large Savings and Loan institution that owned our real estate project ran into financial difficulties. They went bankrupt, even though we were doing a spectacular business. The firm was one of the first major casualties of the savings and loan crisis of the 1980s.
While we were waiting to see what happened to our project, I decided to start a novel. One weekend I spent both days writing, and came up with one single page of drivel. On Monday I read it to Roger. Roger, in his uniquely enthusiastic way, told me to go for it. It was the “best he’d ever read”.
The project soon closed. We parted ways, and I never heard from Roger again. I went on to enjoy a wonderful and fulfilling family life. I created another investment firm and build the first open-architecture 401(k) program. I lived the American dream. Roger went on to kill his brother’s wife. Then he killed himself (or was murdered) while in prison.
When I was editing The Alchemist Conspiracy I had visions of finding Roger and showing him the book. He was there for my very first words (of a different book, however). It would have been fun to share this one with him. I even included his name and parts of his personality as one of the characters in my book.
I was blown away this spring when I turned on CBS’s 48 Hours and saw Roger being profiled for murder. His brother was (reportedly) the biggest bookie in Texas. It is alleged that Roger’s brother hired him to kill his (brother’s) wife to prevent a nasty divorce. Roger even had secret recordings of the hire. Roger committed the crime and fled to Las Vegas. He was picked up by the police, with a cassette of him (and his brother) planning the murder. Roger went to jail and refused a deal to finger his brother. But he went to work on a tell-all book, and met regularly with a writer. Then, one day, Roger turned up dead in his cell, leaving a suicide note “exonerating” his brother. Roger’s brother later fled the country, and is still at large in the Netherlands.
I cannot get over how deeply this has troubled me. The Roger I knew was a successful family man. He was making great money. He had a happy marriage. He was always fun and the life of the party. Somewhere along the way, he fell into a sordid world of illegal gambling, drugs, murder and suicide.
I would never have envisioned this for Roger. And it illustrates for me the fine, thin barrier between our civil nature and our most basic, brutal potential. I think of the saying “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”
How much does it take to cause the schism, to create the fracture that moves man to such behavior? To cause such a wanton disregard for life? I suspect that it is far less than we think. I remember Lord of the Flies, and how schoolboys turned into monsters. I see “reality” shows where the contestants end up at each other’s throats. I see wars where people gladly strap themselves with explosives, walk into a crowd and vanish into pieces.
I think of the millions of American men and women who serve our nation in the four military branches, the National Guard, the FBI, CIA, DEA, the police and the border patrol. Many of these dedicated individuals must interact daily with the underbelly of society, with its open sores and wheezing coughs. So often their service goes unnoticed and underappreciated.
I think of our soldiers in foreign lands. These brave men and women have volunteered to put their lives on the line. They spill their blood to keep us free. What a selfless, glorious commitment that is.
The choice to fight a war is a difficult one to make. Laypeople know just a small fraction of the information one would need to make an informed decision regarding the necessity for conflict outside of our nation. I cannot presume to know what I would do were I in the president’s shoes. I can only help elect men and women who I feel would evaluate that information in the same way as I would.
I do know that many of our soldiers must live their lives in an environment that is filled with stresses beyond our imagination. If our civilized society can make someone like a happy-go-lucky Roger Angleton crack, then our soldiers and law-enforcement officers deserve a huge benefit of any doubt.
Our soldiers must often live with the knowledge that any moment could be their last. Their friends die at the hands of people they thought they were protecting. They are sent into battle with equipment they know could be safer. They must deal with self-doubts, brought out by experiences no man should be forced to endure, emotions and urges long-since tamed by society, but needed in the raw brutal world they must now live.
In my writing I grasp for these essential parts of the human condition, and seek to understand the true building blocks of man and nature. I try to get behind the façade we construct, where life is bucolic and worry-free. I try to stretch my understanding of the true nature of our being. And I try to covey it in words.
I am glad that I live in a world that doesn’t force me to approach my breaking point. And I hope I never do.
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